Prophet Muhammad: Qualities for good friendship

Naseer Ahmad Sajaad

We mentioned that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was loved by all his companions. Every one of them felt that he could do no better than being close to the Prophet, because he was a most caring friend. When he met someone, he would inquire about his affairs and his family. He would attend to their business and give whatever help was available to him. If someone sat with him for a while, then stood up to leave, the Prophet would stand up with him. The Prophet would not turn away from his visitor in order to attend to anything that needed his attention until his visitor has turned away to leave. In this way, he made his visitor feel that he was welcome until the last minute of his visit.

When he met anyone and shook hands with him, the Prophet would not be the first to withdraw his hand. He would wait until the other person has withdrawn his hand. Likewise, when he bade goodbye to anyone, he would hold his hand. He would keep it until the other person has moved away. It is authentically reported that any young girl would come to him, take him by the hand, taking him wherever she wanted. He would go with her and do for her whatever she needed to be done.

These may be small gestures, but they are indicative of highly refined manners, with the Prophet keen to make everyone feel that he was close to him. He was always ready to do for his friends and companions whatever they needed to be done. At the same time, the Prophet was very shy. His shyness is described as greater than that of a maiden girl who is unused to social occasions.

One aspect of good friendship is respecting other peoples privacy. He would not divulge any private matter even to those who were very close to him. Everyone was certain that if he told the Prophet anything of private nature, no one else would know about it from him. He instilled in his companions the virtue of respecting other peoples privacy. This means that we must not try to know anyones private affairs. He says: Whoever pries into someone elses private matters without his knowledge actually pries into the fire of hell.

Coupled with all this was his keen sense of cleanliness. He was always keen that his body and his clothes were clean and having a good smell. He said that one of the two things he loved of worldly comfort was perfume. If he woke up at night, he would give his teeth a quick brush. Every time he performed ablution for his five daily prayers he would brush his teeth. Although he was aware that he had a very pleasant body smell, he always made certain that his mouth and clothes gave no bad smell.

The task assigned to him by God was to give guidance. He fulfilled his duty in the way that no one would feel that following Islamic teachings would be burdensome. He waited for the right moment to give advice. If he saw something unbecoming, he would not embarrass the person concerned by pointing it out on the spot. He would wait until a proper chance offered itself. Then he would give the advice in general terms so that it would not be taken as directed at any particular person. If something wrong was reported to him, and he needed to make a public announcement regarding it, he would not mention anyone concerned by name. He would say: Some people may think, say, or do this or that. He would then point out the right thing to do.

All this made him an exemplary friend with whom people were very comfortable. Hence, they loved him and cherished the fact that they were his friends and companions.

Hadith

Abdul Basir مثنی Atiqzai

Bukhari :: Book 1 :: Volume 1 :: Hadith 6
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Abbas:
Abu Sufyan bin Harb informed me that Heraclius had sent a messenger to him while he had been accompanying a caravan from Quraish. They were merchants doing business in Sham (Syria, Palestine, Lebanon and Jordan), at the time when Allah's Apostle had truce with Abu Sufyan and Quraish infidels. So Abu Sufyan and his companions went to Heraclius at Ilya (Jerusalem). Heraclius called them in the court and he had all the senior Roman dignitaries around him. He called for his translator who, translating Heraclius's question said to them, "Who amongst you is closely related to that man who claims to be a Prophet?" Abu Sufyan replied, "I am the nearest relative to him (amongst the group)."

Heraclius said, "Bring him (Abu Sufyan) close to me and make his companions stand behind him." Abu Sufyan added, Heraclius told his translator to tell my companions that he wanted to put some questions to me regarding that man (The Prophet) and that if I told a lie they (my companions) should contradict me." Abu Sufyan added, "By Allah! Had I not been afraid of my companions labeling me a liar, I would not have spoken the truth about the Prophet. The first question he asked me about him was:

'What is his family status amongst you?'

I replied, 'He belongs to a good (noble) family amongst us.'

Heraclius further asked, 'Has anybody amongst you ever claimed the same (i.e. to be a Prophet) before him?'

I replied, 'No.'

He said, 'Was anybody amongst his ancestors a king?'

I replied, 'No.'

Heraclius asked, 'Do the nobles or the poor follow him?'

I replied, 'It is the poor who follow him.'

He said, 'Are his followers increasing decreasing (day by day)?'

I replied, 'They are increasing.'

He then asked, 'Does anybody amongst those who embrace his religion become displeased and renounce the religion afterwards?'

I replied, 'No.'

Heraclius said, 'Have you ever accused him of telling lies before his claim (to be a Prophet)?'

I replied, 'No. '

Heraclius said, 'Does he break his promises?'

I replied, 'No. We are at truce with him but we do not know what he will do in it.' I could not find opportunity to say anything against him except that.

Heraclius asked, 'Have you ever had a war with him?'

I replied, 'Yes.'

Then he said, 'What was the outcome of the battles?'

I replied, 'Sometimes he was victorious and sometimes we.'

Heraclius said, 'What does he order you to do?'

I said, 'He tells us to worship Allah and Allah alone and not to worship anything along with Him, and to renounce all that our ancestors had said. He orders us to pray, to speak the truth, to be chaste and to keep good relations with our Kith and kin.'

Heraclius asked the translator to convey to me the following, I asked you about his family and your reply was that he belonged to a very noble family. In fact all the Apostles come from noble families amongst their respective peoples. I questioned you whether anybody else amongst you claimed such a thing, your reply was in the negative. If the answer had been in the affirmative, I would have thought that this man was following the previous man's statement. Then I asked you whether anyone of his ancestors was a king. Your reply was in the negative, and if it had been in the affirmative, I would have thought that this man wanted to take back his ancestral kingdom.

I further asked whether he was ever accused of telling lies before he said what he said, and your reply was in the negative. So I wondered how a person who does not tell a lie about others could ever tell a lie about Allah. I, then asked you whether the rich people followed him or the poor. You replied that it was the poor who followed him. And in fact all the Apostle have been followed by this very class of people. Then I asked you whether his followers were increasing or decreasing. You replied that they were increasing, and in fact this is the way of true faith, till it is complete in all respects. I further asked you whether there was anybody, who, after embracing his religion, became displeased and discarded his religion. Your reply was in the negative, and in fact this is (the sign of) true faith, when its delight enters the hearts and mixes with them completely. I asked you whether he had ever betrayed. You replied in the negative and likewise the Apostles never betray. Then I asked you what he ordered you to do. You replied that he ordered you to worship Allah and Allah alone and not to worship any thing along with Him and forbade you to worship idols and ordered you to pray, to speak the truth and to be chaste. If what you have said is true, he will very soon occupy this place underneath my feet and I knew it (from the scriptures) that he was going to appear but I did not know that he would be from you, and if I could reach him definitely, I would go immediately to meet him and if I were with him, I would certainly wash his feet.' Heraclius then asked for the letter addressed by Allah's Apostle

which was delivered by Dihya to the Governor of Busra, who forwarded it to Heraclius to read. The contents of the letter were as follows: "In the name of Allah the Beneficent, the Merciful (This letter is) from Muhammad the slave of Allah and His Apostle to Heraclius the ruler of Byzantine. Peace be upon him, who follows the right path. Furthermore I invite you to Islam, and if you become a Muslim you will be safe, and Allah will double your reward, and if you reject this invitation of Islam you will be committing a sin by misguiding your Arisiyin (peasants). (And I recite to you Allah's Statement:)

'O people of the scripture! Come to a word common to you and us that we worship none but Allah and that we associate nothing in worship with Him, and that none of us shall take others as Lords beside Allah. Then, if they turn away, say: Bear witness that we are Muslims (those who have surrendered to Allah).' (3:64).

Abu Sufyan then added, "When Heraclius had finished his speech and had read the letter, there was a great hue and cry in the Royal Court. So we were turned out of the court. I told my companions that the question of Ibn-Abi-Kabsha) (the Prophet Muhammad) has become so prominent that even the King of Bani Al-Asfar (Byzantine) is afraid of him. Then I started to become sure that he (the Prophet) would be the conqueror in the near future till I embraced Islam (i.e. Allah guided me to it)."

The sub narrator adds, "Ibn An-Natur was the Governor of llya' (Jerusalem) and Heraclius was the head of the Christians of Sham. Ibn An-Natur narrates that once while Heraclius was visiting ilya' (Jerusalem), he got up in the morning with a sad mood. Some of his priests asked him why he was in that mood? Heraclius was a foreteller and an astrologer. He replied, 'At night when I looked at the stars, I saw that the leader of those who practice circumcision had appeared (become the conqueror). Who are they who practice circumcision?' The people replied, 'Except the Jews nobody practices circumcision, so you should not be afraid of them (Jews).

'Just Issue orders to kill every Jew present in the country.'

While they were discussing it, a messenger sent by the king of Ghassan to convey the news of Allah's Apostle to Heraclius was brought in. Having heard the news, he (Heraclius) ordered the people to go and see whether the messenger of Ghassan was circumcised. The people, after seeing him, told Heraclius that he was circumcised. Heraclius then asked him about the Arabs. The messenger replied, 'Arabs also practice circumcision.'

(After hearing that) Heraclius remarked that sovereignty of the 'Arabs had appeared. Heraclius then wrote a letter to his friend in Rome who was as good as Heraclius in knowledge. Heraclius then left for Homs. (a town in Syrian and stayed there till he received the reply of his letter from his friend who agreed with him in his opinion about the emergence of the Prophet and the fact that he was a Prophet. On that Heraclius invited all the heads of the Byzantines to assemble in his palace at Homs. When they assembled, he ordered that all the doors of his palace be closed. Then he came out and said, 'O Byzantines! If success is your desire and if you seek right guidance and want your empire to remain then give a pledge of allegiance to this Prophet (i.e. embrace Islam).'

(On hearing the views of Heraclius) the people ran towards the gates of the palace like onagers but found the doors closed. Heraclius realized their hatred towards Islam and when he lost the hope of their embracing Islam, he ordered that they should be brought back in audience.

(When they returned) he said, 'What already said was just to test the strength of your conviction and I have seen it.' The people prostrated before him and became pleased with him, and this was the end of Heraclius's story (in connection with his faith).

Beautiful advice from Sufyaan ath-thawree Rahimahullah

Shaista Salafi

Sufyaan once wrote to one of his Muslim brothers

May Allaah, with His Mercy, protect both me and you from the Hellfire.

I advise both you and myself to fear Allaah.

And I warn you not to turn to ignorance after you have learned, not to turn to destruction after you have seen and recognized the truth, and not to leave the (Straight) Path after it has been made clear to you.

Do not become deceived by worldly people, and do not become unduly impressed by the way they strive for and greedily gather worldly things, for the terror (that will envelop them on the Day of Resurrection) is indeed SEVERE.

The danger (of the Day of Resurrection) is grave indeed, but what is more, is that it is near at hand.

So occupy yourself exclusively with the Hereafter, and empty your heart of all other thoughts; once you have done that, work hard! Do not waste time! And flee from the world and its temptations! Travel to the Hereafter (with your worship) before you are taken there… I have indeed given you the same advice that I gave myself.

And understand that success comes from Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala). The key to gaining His help is supplication, prayer, feeling remorse for past negligence, and complete submission to Him.

Your days and nights are numbered, so use the time you have left wisely, and do not be negligent in fulfilling the rights of your Lord.

I ask Allaah, Who has blessed us to know Him, not to entrust us and you to our ownselves; and I ask Allaah to be our Guardian and Helper, just as He is the Guardian and Helper of His beloved, righteous slaves.

Beware of doing that which will spoil your deeds, and know that it is showing off that spoils a person’s deeds; and if it is not showing off, then it is conceitedness – for you to imagine that you are better than one of your Muslim brothers, when in reality he performs more good deeds than you do; or perhaps he performs his deeds with a purer intention than you do.

And even if you are not conceited, beware of developing a love for praise.

Be ever so careful not to come to love other people’s praise of your good deeds, or the respect they feel for you and bestow upon you because of your good deeds.

And beware of desiring that others should help you in your personal affairs just because they have become impressed with your good deeds.

You surely claim (as does everyone else), after all, that you are doing good deeds only for the sake of Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta’aala); well, then turn that claim into a reality.

If you want to be less desirous of this world – its things, wealth, and pleasures – and more desirous of the Hereafter — Paradise and its bliss – then remember death frequently.

And know that you have long term hopes for this world – which one should not have — if you fear Allaah only a little or if you recklessly perpetrate sins.

And one will be sufficiently regretful and wretched on the Day of Resurrection if he has knowledge but does not apply it.

* Transcribed from: The Biography of Sufyaan Ath-Thauree, rahimahullaah, page 181-182

Having Pleasant Speech

Shaista Salafi

Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem

Wal – Alhamdulillaahi Rabbil-`Aalameen was-Salaatu was-Salaamu `Alaa Rasoolillaah, Wa ‘ala Alihe wa As-habihe, ajma’een.

Wa Ba’ad:

Assalamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu,

Allah has described the people of Jannah as those who treat the creation well by means of their good deeds and wealth, and they are patient when harmed. He said,

“And hasten forth to forgiveness from your Lord, for Jannah is as wide as the heavens and the earth, prepared for the pious. Those who spend in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon people; verily Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers).” (Aali Imraan 3:133-134)

Spending in prosperity and in adversity with one’s wealth implies the highest level of doing good. Repressing anger and pardoning people means that one does not reciprocate evil with evil, which entails that one must have pleasant speech and avoid ill-mannerism when it is permissible, thus He says, “Verily Allah loves Al-Muhsinun.”

Some of them have been asked: what is good character? They replied: Generosity and the withholding of harm. This description mentioned is even more comprehensive in the Qur’an for they are described as being generous and they are patient when harmed. The servant who has good character reaches the level of those who do many acts of worship as the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasallam) said, “Indeed a person with good character would reach the level of the one who constantly fasts in the day and stands at night.” (1)

It is also recommended to have pleasant speech when commanding good and forbidding evil i.e. a person should be gentle as He said regarding the NonMuslims, “And argue with them with that which is best.” (An-Nahl 16:125) Some of the Salaf have said, “He who you make angry will never accept anything from you.” (2) Whenever the companions of Ibn Masud saw a people committing an evil act, they used to say, “Slow down, slow down, may Allah bless you.” (3) One time a Tabi’i saw a man standing with a woman, so he said to them both,“Indeed Allah sees both of you. May Allah conceal our sins and yours.” Al-Hasan Al-Basri was once invited to a dinner, and he was served some sweets in a utensil that was made of silver. So he took the sweets and placed it on the bread and then ate from on top of it. Thus some of his companions said: This is prohibiting evil in a silent manner.

Sufyan said: “One should not command good and forbid evil except if he possesses these three qualities:

1. He is gentle in that which he commands, gentle in that which he prohibits;

2. Just in that which he commands, just in that which he prohibits;

3. Knowledgeable in that which he commands, knowledgeable in that which he prohibits.” (4)

Many of the Salaf would not command good and forbid evil except in private between the one who they are commanding or prohibiting. Umm Darda said,“Whoever admonishes his brother in private has treated him well. Whoever admonishes his brother in public has disgraced him. “ (5)

Likewise, repelling harsh words by pleasant speech as He the Most High said,“Repel (the evil) with one which is better…” (Fussilat 41: 34) And His, the Most High, statement, “And defend evil with good, for such there is a good end.” (Ar-Ra’d 13: 22 )

Footnotes:

1. Narrated by Abu Dawud (3798), ibn Hibban (1967), and Al-Hakim (1/60). Al-Albani said that the hadith is sahih (Silsilah as-sahihah: 2/421)

2. He is Sulaymaan At-Taymee as is mentioned in Al-Khalaal’s book Al-Amr bil-Ma’roof wa Nahee anil Munkar ( Commanding the Good and Forbidding the Evil), pg. 9

3. Narrated by Al-Khalaal, pg.8

4. Narrated by Al-Khalaal, pg. 8

5. Narrated by Al-Khalaal, pg. 10

•Transcribed from: The Dispute of the Highest Angels | Ikhtiyar al-Awlaa fee Sharh Hadith Ikhtisaam al-Mala al-A’alaa | Al-Hafidh Ibn Rajab Al-Hanbali
•Transcription done by Eeasa Ibn Roy

sincerity and the hypocritessincerity and the hypocrites

Deniz Burkay

(Quran: 48/11) Those who remained behind will say to you,‘Our wealth and families kept us occupied,so ask forgiveness for us.’They say with their tongues what is not in their hearts. Say: ‘Who can control Allah for you in any way whether He wants harm for you or wants benefit for you?’Allah is aware of what you do.

Muslims never use their families or work for excuse about not serving Islam