By: Zim Tanvir
This is not a very uncommon question, often we ask and are asked. In various ways this question is answered. Some common answers may be,
Person 1: I don’t feel like, because I have a lot of experiences of it, I don’t find any interest.
Person 2: I don’t because my family doesn’t allow it.
Person 3: I don’t because it causes a lot of expenses.
Person 4: I feel shame to have a girlfriend.
Person 5: I don’t believe the girls, they are selfish.
Person 6: I fear Allah, He has prohibited such relationship and I submit to Him.
Though none of them doesn’t have any girlfriend, first 5 persons are still guilty because none of these arguments are valid from Islamic reference point except the last one. If we further scrutinize these arguments we will see that the first 5 arguments indicate that the reasons behind “not having a girlfriend” devoid of the issue whether having a gf is permissible or prohibited, rather they are subjective/temporary/relative morality which may decline anyway. These definition or reason is not infallible, rather changeable and are relative in nature, situation may change with the change in other factors, i.e, social values, financial condition or other things.
For example, if person 1 somehow starts feeling interest in girls he will start it again. Person 2’s temporary feeling “I shouldn’t have it” will cease to exist when his family dies or permit him or if he somehow become courage enough to “damncare“ family. Person 3 will start finding a gf when he will have money. Person 4 will have to wait for becoming a bit shameless and “brave” to do so. Person 5 is actually waiting for a “trustworthy” girl.
The definition of “what not to done” can’t change with times, places, persons and situations, if it does then morality is no more objective, it becomes subject to change. Therefore “Social values”, “Social pressure”, "Culture" “Personal will”, “ I feel like to do it” are false reference point to judge what is good and what is wrong, what to be done and what not to be done.
Person 6 has the correct answer; therefore his action is also correct. Though the 5 persons don’t have any gf like him, but they are fundamentally different from him because of the difference in their reference points. To say “they all are same” is incorrect because its like saying “Muslims and Christians are same because they go mosque and church respectively [even their beliefs are fundamentally different] ” !!!
We the Muslims are not allowed take any other judgment rather than the judgment of Allah, because we submit to Allah alone.
"[Say] Shall I seek a judge other than Allâh while it is He Who has sent down unto you the Book (The Qur'ân), explained in detail." [TMQ 6:114]
This is only Allah who has the right to legislate, the right to decide what is halal and what is haram, what to be done and what not to be done.
“So judge between them by what Allâh has revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging away from the truth that has come to you” [TMQ 5:48]
“The command (or judgement) is for none but Allah” [TMQ 12:40]
The only correct reference point for us is the Islamic shariah .Allah says,
“But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you (O Muhammad SAW) judge in all disputes between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your decisions, and accept (them) with full submission.” [Tmq 4:65]
No one has the right to oppose the Allah and His messenger. Allah says,
“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allâh and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allâh and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.” [Quran 33:36]
This is the Quran with what we should judge our action, this is neither family values nor social values. This is the shariah which will guide us, this is neither personal interest or social laws or system.
“Have you seen him who takes his own lust (vain desires) as his ilâh (god), and Allâh knowing (him as such), left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. Who then will guide him after Allâh? Will you not then remember?” [TMQ 45:23]
May Allah guide all of us so that we can think in the correct method.
This is not a very uncommon question, often we ask and are asked. In various ways this question is answered. Some common answers may be,
Person 1: I don’t feel like, because I have a lot of experiences of it, I don’t find any interest.
Person 2: I don’t because my family doesn’t allow it.
Person 3: I don’t because it causes a lot of expenses.
Person 4: I feel shame to have a girlfriend.
Person 5: I don’t believe the girls, they are selfish.
Person 6: I fear Allah, He has prohibited such relationship and I submit to Him.
Though none of them doesn’t have any girlfriend, first 5 persons are still guilty because none of these arguments are valid from Islamic reference point except the last one. If we further scrutinize these arguments we will see that the first 5 arguments indicate that the reasons behind “not having a girlfriend” devoid of the issue whether having a gf is permissible or prohibited, rather they are subjective/temporary/relative morality which may decline anyway. These definition or reason is not infallible, rather changeable and are relative in nature, situation may change with the change in other factors, i.e, social values, financial condition or other things.
For example, if person 1 somehow starts feeling interest in girls he will start it again. Person 2’s temporary feeling “I shouldn’t have it” will cease to exist when his family dies or permit him or if he somehow become courage enough to “damncare“ family. Person 3 will start finding a gf when he will have money. Person 4 will have to wait for becoming a bit shameless and “brave” to do so. Person 5 is actually waiting for a “trustworthy” girl.
The definition of “what not to done” can’t change with times, places, persons and situations, if it does then morality is no more objective, it becomes subject to change. Therefore “Social values”, “Social pressure”, "Culture" “Personal will”, “ I feel like to do it” are false reference point to judge what is good and what is wrong, what to be done and what not to be done.
Person 6 has the correct answer; therefore his action is also correct. Though the 5 persons don’t have any gf like him, but they are fundamentally different from him because of the difference in their reference points. To say “they all are same” is incorrect because its like saying “Muslims and Christians are same because they go mosque and church respectively [even their beliefs are fundamentally different] ” !!!
We the Muslims are not allowed take any other judgment rather than the judgment of Allah, because we submit to Allah alone.
"[Say] Shall I seek a judge other than Allâh while it is He Who has sent down unto you the Book (The Qur'ân), explained in detail." [TMQ 6:114]
This is only Allah who has the right to legislate, the right to decide what is halal and what is haram, what to be done and what not to be done.
“So judge between them by what Allâh has revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging away from the truth that has come to you” [TMQ 5:48]
“The command (or judgement) is for none but Allah” [TMQ 12:40]
The only correct reference point for us is the Islamic shariah .Allah says,
“But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you (O Muhammad SAW) judge in all disputes between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your decisions, and accept (them) with full submission.” [Tmq 4:65]
No one has the right to oppose the Allah and His messenger. Allah says,
“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allâh and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allâh and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.” [Quran 33:36]
This is the Quran with what we should judge our action, this is neither family values nor social values. This is the shariah which will guide us, this is neither personal interest or social laws or system.
“Have you seen him who takes his own lust (vain desires) as his ilâh (god), and Allâh knowing (him as such), left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. Who then will guide him after Allâh? Will you not then remember?” [TMQ 45:23]
May Allah guide all of us so that we can think in the correct method.
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