The powerful emotion of feeling alone is different for everyone. It is based on our own perception of how “connected” we are to others. This explains why we can feel alone even when in a crowd. Understanding some of the reasons that we feel disconnected from others helps us to explain why we are hurting:
- Loss of Relationships – The loss of a companion leaves a great void in our life. The aloneness intensifies as we face obstacles in establishing any new meaningful relationships.
- Chronic Illness – Our afflictions place limitations on socializing. We feel abandoned during our greatest times of need. Eventually we reluctantly accept isolation as we withdraw further.
- Hidden Secrets – Any secret becomes more burdensome as time passes. Guilt, anger, or fear of consequences forces us to believe we alone must bear the weight of silence.
- Lack of Intimacy – Uneasiness occurs after sharing something personal (physical or emotional), but the other individual chooses to become distant. You feel alone for having been so vulnerable.
- Support/Trust Issues – When faced with disaster, grave illness, or devastating circumstances, we find there’s no one to turn to.
The reasons for feeling disconnected may be more complex than those listed above. Yet there is still only one cause for feeling alone. We are unable to share our thoughts and feelings with someone we can fully trust to remain steadfast in their love and support.
There are some common mistakes we make when trying to cope with feeling alone. In an attempt to escape from our loneliness we watch more movies (alone) or work longer hours. Some people rely on a pet, a hobby, or self-help books to fill the void. Each avenue offers only temporary hope for a brighter future. Eventually feeling alone seems part of our identity. Unknowingly, we isolate ourselves further from that one perfect relationship.
Never confuse feeling alone with being alone. The two are at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum. One drains our resources; one multiplies our resources:
Feeling Alone (Abandonment)
Being Alone (Solitude)
Leaves us empty and unfulfilled
Brings us fulfillment through inspiration
Aggravates our internalized stress
Provides us freedom from distractions
Feeds on our despair and self-doubt
Nourishes our body, mind, and spirit
Just as you can experience feeling alone in a crowd, you can experience companionship while being alone. We can share the assurance of God’s presence during our weary times, difficult decisions, and in the midst of “our enemies.” The Lord’s eternal love brings protection and comfort even when facing death.
God finds no pleasure in our feeling alone. In every hopeless situation, God provided strength and deliverance.
God intends for mankind to have an eternal connection with Him so that we never feel alone -- God longs to be with us. As we trust in His unconditional mercy and love, He uses others who have experienced His love to fill up our lives again.